Use Them Wisely

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"Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be." James 3:10

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Tragedy in Connecticut

Courtesy of elitedaily.com

No words can even begin to describe the myriad of feelings I experienced when I learned of the tragic shooting that occurred today. Part of my responsibilities as a teacher's assistant involves reading stories to children, helping them pick out books for them to read at home - children the same age as the little ones who whose lives were cut short this morning. How and why anyone could murder such dear ones is unfathomable to me.

"The majority of those who died today were children - beautiful little kids between the ages of 5 and 10 years old. They had their entire lives ahead of them - birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own. Among the fallen were also teachers - men and women who devoted their lives to helping our children fulfill their dreams.

So our hearts are broken today - for the parents and grandparents, sisters and brothers of these little children, and for the families of the adults who were lost. Our hearts are broken for the parents of the survivors as well, for as blessed as they are to have their children home tonight, they know that their children’s innocence has been torn away from them too early, and there are no words that will ease their pain."                                                                                - President Obama

Why was such a terrible tragedy allowed to happen?

How could someone commit such a heinous crime?

 I won't even attempt to try making sense of this heartbreaking situation, because, in all honesty, it doesn't make sense to me. I don't know why it was allowed to happen. I don't know how (and why) anyone could bring themselves to gun down another human being made in the image of God, especially a child.Such acts of brutality rarely ever make sense to our finite, limited minds (humanly speaking). We may never know why a young man was permitted to take the lives of 20 innocent little bundles of joy, laughter and happiness and the lives of 6 of their teachers, this side of Heaven.

Parents, hug your children a little tighter tonight. Fellow teachers and child caretakers, be on the alert.

My thoughts and prayers are with all of those affected by this heartbreaking catastrophe. May God give you comfort and peace as you grieve the loss of those dear children and teachers.

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11 Years Later . . . We Will Never Forget

"How do I respond when I see that in some Islamic countries there is vitriolic hatred for America? I'll tell you how I respond: I'm amazed. I'm amazed that there is such misunderstanding of what our country is about, that people would hate us. I am, I am -- like most Americans, I just can't believe it. Because I know how good we are, and we've go to do a better job of making our case. We've got to do a better job of explaining to the people in the Middle East, for example, that we don't fight a war against Islam or Muslims. We don't hold any religion accountable. We're fighting evil. And these murderers have hijacked a great religion in order to justify their evil deeds. And we cannot let it stand." - President George W. Bush

“Today, we gather to be reassured that God hears the lamenting and bitter weeping of Mother America because so many of her children are no more. Let us now seek that assurance in prayer for the healing of our grief stricken hearts, for the souls and sacred memory of those who have been lost. Let us also pray for divine wisdom as our leaders consider the necessary actions for national security, wisdom of the grace of God that as we act, we not become the evil we deplore.” - Rev. Nathan Baxter

"The attacks of September 11th were intended to break our spirit. Instead we have emerged stronger and more unified. We feel renewed devotion to the principles of political, economic and religious freedom, the rule of law and respect for human life. We are more determined than ever to live our lives in freedom." - Mayor Rudolph Giuliani

"It will not be quick and it will not be easy. Our adversaries are not one or two terrorist leaders, or even a single terrorist organization or network. It's a broad network of individuals and organizations that are determined to terrorize and, in so doing, to deny us the very essence of what we are: free people. They don't live in Antarctica. They work, they train and they plan in countries. They're benefiting from the support of governments. They're benefiting from the support of non-governmental organizations that are either actively supporting them with money, intelligence and weapons or allowing them to function on their territory and tolerating if not encouraging their activities. In either case, it has to stop."  - Donald Rumsfeld

“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children." - President George W. Bush

"The planes were hijacked, the buildings fell, and thousands of lives were lost nearly a thousand miles from here. But the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were an attack on the heart of America. 

"And standing here in the heartland of America, we say in one voice: 

"We will not give in to terrorists; we will not rest until they are found and defeated; we will win this struggle, not for glory, nor wealth, nor power, but for justice, for freedom, and for peace; 

So help us God." - Tom Harkin

(Photos from AP, Getty, Reuters, and Tumbler)

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A Cry from the Heart

Father in Heaven,


      I need to trust you more than ever . . .


                                                      . . .  to believe that you work all things out for my good.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 

Romans 8:28

                                                   
                                                        . . . to fight this battle I'm facing.

The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. 

Exodus 14:14

                                                     . . . to be my God who provides beyond my limitations. 

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4:19

                                                           . . . to be the light to my darkness.

For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness. 

Psalm 18:28

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. 

Psalm 119:105

Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: for the LORD shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended. 

Isaiah 60:20

  . . . when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me. 

Micah 7:8

Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. 

John 8:12

And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign for ever and ever. 

Revelation 22:5

                                           . . . to use these trials, these struggles, the hurt, the tears, the painful circumstances, to strengthen and purify me and to glorify You.

I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee . . . 

II Kings 20:5

 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. 

Psalm 126:5

But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.

Lamentations 3:23-33

Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy. 

John 16:20

 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 

II Corinthians 4:17

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes . . .

Revelation 7:17; 21:4

Help me take my eyes off my circumstances and the cares of life and keep them fixed on the Cross of Christ for as long as You choose to keep me on this earth. Only then will I be able to have a right view of myself, my circumstances, and Your will.

But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world. 

Galatians 6:14

 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Hebrews 12:2

My father's way may twist and turn, my heart may throb and ache,

But in my soul I'm glad to know He maketh no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray, my hopes now fade away,

But still I'll trust my Lord to lead, for He doth know the way.

Though night be dark and it may seem that day will never break;

I'll pin my faith, my all in Him, He maketh no mistake.

There's so much now I cannot see, my eyesight's far too dim;

But come what may, I'll simply trust and leave it all to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift, and plain it all He'll make - 

Through all the way, though dark to me, He made not one mistake

                                                                                                    Amy Carmichael

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Swept Away

I recently started a chronological Bible reading program, where you read the Bible in the historical order of events. I've never tried this kind of approach before, so I thought I'd give it a go.

This week's reading plan has focused on the book of Job. It inspired me to write the following . . . poem? . . . song? . . . I'm not entirely sure how to categorize it. Whatever it is, I hope it will encourage you to look to the One Who has all the answers.

Swept Away

 Feels like I’m swimming upstream, I can’t catch my breath

Everything I was holding onto has been swept away

Why have You ignored my cries for help?

Why have I become a burden to You?

Why don’t You take my pain away?

Why do You answer my tears with silence? 

Where did I go wrong?

Don’t You see what’s happening to me?

Remember that my life is a breath

I’m swept away in the blink of an eye

For when a few years have come and gone

I’ll go to where I can’t return

Who will praise You then?

How long will You let them torment me

And tear me to pieces with heartless words?

Can’t You see what they’re doing to me?

Seems like I’m all alone in this battle

Why aren’t You here to protect me?

I can’t keep keeping on like this

It’s too much for me to take

My song has been silenced in the darkness of despair

I will question you, and you will answer Me

Where were you when I made the earth?

Have you commanded the morning since your birth?

Do you know the secret springs of the sea?

Have you walked in the deep places of the earth?

Have you seen the gates of Hell, or touched the windows of Heaven?

Tell me, if you know all this

Where is the way to the dwelling of light?

And where is the house of darkness?

Have you seen where the snow and hail are stored?

Can you send forth rain to nourish the earth?

Answer me, if you can

Do you give the horses their strength?

Is the wild ox your servant?

Do you provide the raven its prey to feed its young ones?

Have you caught Leviathan with a hook, or tamed Behemoth with a leash?

Will you contend with Yahweh, fault-finder?

Will you give an answer, you who argue with God?

I lay my hand on my mouth – how can I answer You? 

I know that You can do all things, and no will of Yours can be thwarted

I’ve spoken about what I don’t understand, things too wonderful for me to comprehend

Now I see You, and I repent in dust and ashes

I’m awe-struck, captivated, swept away by You

Blessed be Your Name!

"Blessed be the name of the LORD."

Job 1:21b

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Focusing on Change

Photo by Myrna Moore

When we suffer bad/negative experiences, Satan uses these hurts to encourage bad attitudes and habits, which often leads to unhealthy and unbiblical choices. These unhealthy, sinful, and unbiblical choices and habits in your life are the basis for the problems you are living with right now. They are the consequences for seeking relief outside of God. Instead of facing pain, sin, hurt, and/or wrong choices responsibly, we tend to try to find a way to shift the blame and live in denial of the part we have played and the responsibility that lies with us in changing our behavior.

Sure, you want relief from the pain, but you don't want to have to change. Most often, the pain you cause yourself is as great or ever greater than the pain caused by your experience(s). But your denial of your responsibility keeps you in bondage to your unbiblical, sinful, self-destructive lifestyle.

{ You feel the way you feel, because you think the way you think, and act the way you act. Jim Berg }

What we call denial is what God calls self-deception.

But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: for he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. {James 1:22-24}

 During the time of the Apostles, a group of Jews did not react favorably when Paul and Barnabus confronted them with their own sin.

Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: and by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses. Beware therefore, lest that come upon you, which is spoken of in the prophets; behold, ye despisers, and wonder, and perish: for I work a work in your days, a work which ye shall in no wise believe, though a man declare it unto you. And when the Jews were gone out of the synagogue, the Gentiles besought that these words might be preached to them the next sabbath. 

Now when the congregation was broken up, many of the Jews and religious proselytes followed Paul and Barnabas: who, speaking to them, persuaded them to continue in the grace of God. And the next sabbath day came almost the whole city together to hear the word of God. 

But when the Jews saw the multitudes, they were filled with envy, and spake against those things which were spoken by Paul, contradicting and blaspheming. Then Paul and Barnabas waxed bold, and said, It was necessary that the word of God should first have been spoken to you: but seeing ye put it from you, and judge yourselves unworthy of everlasting life, lo, we turn to the Gentiles. For so hath the Lord commanded us, saying, I have set thee to be a light of the Gentiles, that thou shouldest be for salvation unto the ends of the earth. And when the Gentiles heard this, they were glad, and glorified the word of the Lord: and as many as were ordained to eternal life believed. And the word of the Lord was published throughout all the region. But the Jews stirred up the devout and honourable women, and the chief men of the city, and raised persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them out of their coasts. {Acts 13:38-50}

 The Jews didn't like it when Paul and Barnabus began preaching to the Gentiles. When Paul and Barnabus spoke out against their envy and jealousy against the Gentiles, the Jews drove them away. They were unwilling to hear the truth about themselves. How often to we react in a similar way when a fellow Christian, or God Himself, exposes areas of our life that are in need of change.

Even David, whom God called "a man after His own heart," struggled with the sin of denial.

And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king's house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house. And the woman conceived, and sent and told David, and said, I am with child. 

And David sent to Joab, saying, Send me Uriah the Hittite. And Joab sent Uriah to David. And when Uriah was come unto him, David demanded of him how Joab did, and how the people did, and how the war prospered. And David said to Uriah, Go down to thy house, and wash thy feet. And Uriah departed out of the king's house, and there followed him a mess of meat from the king. But Uriah slept at the door of the king's house with all the servants of his lord, and went not down to his house. 

And when they had told David, saying, Uriah went not down unto his house, David said unto Uriah, Camest thou not from thy journey? why then didst thou not go down unto thine house? And Uriah said unto David, The ark, and Israel, and Judah, abide in tents; and my lord Joab, and the servants of my lord, are encamped in the open fields; shall I then go into mine house, to eat and to drink, and to lie with my wife? as thou livest, and as thy soul liveth, I will not do this thing. And David said to Uriah, Tarry here to day also, and to morrow I will let thee depart. So Uriah abode in Jerusalem that day, and the morrow. And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.  

 And it came to pass in the morning, that David wrote a letter to Joab, and sent it by the hand of Uriah. And he wrote in the letter, saying, Set ye Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten, and die. {II Samuel 11:2-15}

David thought that making Uriah's death look like an accident would ease his guilt, but it didn't. If you read further in the passage, you will see just how much pain David's denial caused in this situation.


When you repeatedly disobey God's law, your heart becomes calloused and you are no longer sensitive to the guilt of your sin. Denial leads you into deeper sin habits.

Examine the list below and ask God to reveal to you the areas where denial is keeping you in bondage to sin. You may want to add more as God reveals additional areas of sin in your life.

• Sexual immorality (Galatians 5:19)
• Lust (Colossians 3:5)
• Discord (Galatians 5:20)
• Anger (Galatians 5:20)
• Dissention (Galatians 5:20)
• Envy (Galatians 5:21)
• Idolatry (Galatians 5:20; Ephesians 5:5)
• Cheating (I Corinthians 6:8)
• Drunkenness (Galatians 5:21)
• Homosexuality (I Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Stealing (I Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Stubbornness (I Samuel 15:22-23)
• Impurity (Galatians 5:19)
• Hatred/Bitterness (Galatians 5:20)
• Envy/Jealousy (Galatians 5:20)
• Selfishness (Galatians 5:20)
• Arrogance (II Corinthians 12:20; Galatians 5:20)
• Murder (I Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Adultery (I Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Greed (I Corinthians 6:9-10; Ephesians 5:5)
• Lying (Revelation 22:12-16)

Ask God to take away your heart of stone and give you a heart that is willing to be broken over your sin, a heart that is willing to change.

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them. {Ezekiel 36:26-27}

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For Those Who Have Been Hurt by Words

I came across this video while perusing The Identity Shift. This is an extremely poignant, direct, and sobering presentation of the power of words/the tongue.

Thou lovest all devouring words, O thou deceitful tongue. 

{Psalm 52:4}

The tongue of the just is as choice silver:

{Proverbs 10:20}

The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom: but the froward tongue shall be cut out. 

{Proverbs 10:31}

The tongue of the wise is health.

{Proverbs 12:18}

The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness. 

{Proverbs 15:2}

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit. 

{Proverbs 15:4}

He that hath a perverse tongue falleth into mischief. 

{Proverbs 17:20}

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. 

{Proverbs 18:21}

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. 

{Proverbs 21:23}

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. 

For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. 

{Matthew 12:36-37}

But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. 

{Galatians 5:15}

Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 

{James 3:3-10}

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Examining Your Responses

Just as there are times of joy, there are also times if suffering during the course of life. You may have suffered abuse, abandonment, or rejection. Perhaps you are hurting over a failed marriage or failed relationships/friendships. You may think God has forgotten you, or doesn't care about you. Your heart has grown cold, angry, perhaps bitter, toward God. Psalm 31:7 says,

I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities.

David didn't rejoice because he was suffering. He was able to rejoice because he knew God was there and would always be with him.

Life has not given you what you expected. You want more. The world tells you that you deserve more. Proverbs 21:2 says,

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts. 

 Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). He wants to keep you from facing the truth about your unbiblical responses to the hurts you have faced, because denial keeps you in bondage to him. When you live in denial, you cannot know God intimately or enjoy fellowship with Him. Satan's mission is accomplished.

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. {John 8:32}

 If you are willing to face the truth, the truth will set you free - free from your sinful responses to circumstances in your life.

Psalm 142 describes a trying time in David's life.

I cried unto the LORD with my voice; with my voice unto the LORD did I make my supplication.  

I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble.  

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me.  

I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul.  

I cried unto thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living.  

Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutors; for they are stronger than I.  

Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.

David was hiding in a cave because he was being pursued by Saul. You are constantly being pursued by Satan and your fleshly nature, but you do not have to give in.

But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof. {Romans 13:14}

David was in desperate need. He was honest about his feelings and his need, but his focus was entirely on God. He was able to have joy in the midst of distressing circumstances because his focus was entirely on God.

{ Stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'real' life. They are precisely one's real life. - C.S. Lewis }

Have you lived in denial about your unbiblical responses? What truth do you need to face about your unbiblical responses? Don't put it off any longer - make those responses right today so your relationship with God can be restored and you can live with the joy of the Lord in your heart!

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What is Biblical Forgiveness?

Photo by Myrna Moore

When you have suffered at another's hand, the last thing you want to do is forgive. You pride tells you not to forgive. It tells you that you have the right to be offended.

God is very specific about the Christian's responsibility to forgive. There are no exceptions to this command. We must forgive, whether we feel like it or not; whether we think the the person who offended us deserves our forgiveness or not.

When Jesus was asked, "Master, which is the great commandment in the law?," this was his response:

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. {Matthew 22: 37-40}

 What is biblical forgiveness? It is a promise that you will not deal with those who have offended you, hurt you, or sinned against you. It is a promise that you will not bring the offense up to them or anyone else ever again.

You are to forgive because God forgave you.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. {Ephesians 4:32}

Forgiveness is...

• not an apology. Apologies are what you do/say to explain yourself. "I did that because..." "I said that because..."
• not forgetting. When God forgives your sin, He chooses to remember it no more. Forgiveness is a choice, an act of the will to remember the offense no more.
• not a matter of faith or spirituality. Forgiveness is simply obedience to a direct command of God.
• not a feeling. You don't forgive because you feel like it. You forgive because you are commanded by God to do it.

Christ gave us an example in Scripture of our choice to respond according to our feelings or to respond in obedience to God's commands.

But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do. {Luke 17:7-10}

The servant in this parable was probably exhausted and hungry from working all day. You might be thinking, "How unfair for the master to require more of him than was expected!" But the servant was required to obey his master, regardless of whether his feelings about how he was being treated were legitimate or not.

Your feelings may be legitimate based on what you have experienced or are experiencing. But your feelings are not to be your master. God is your Master. God commands you to stop living according to your feelings and just obey. Obedience is not the extra mile; it is your duty as a servant.

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. {Colossians 3:13} 

You are to forgive because God has forgiven you. he has given you mercy and withheld judgment. He wants you to give mercy and allow him, the Righteous Judge, to administer judgment to those who have hurt you. Mercy is no longer hoping in your heart that hurt or evil comes upon those who hurt you. You give up the desire to punish of hurt the one who has hurt you. Mercy and forgiveness walk hand in hand. You never see one without the other.

God has given specific instructions about how Christians are to treat those who have hurt them.

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. {Luke 6:27-31}

Jesus, having suffered all the shame, the physical and emotional abuse, the rejection, and the sins of the world, lifted His voice to heaven and prayed, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." He forgave so that you may be forgiven and, following his example, can also forgive.

When you humble yourself as a servant before the Lord and determine to obey His command to forgive, you witness to the world Christ's forgiveness of sin. Christ died for the sins of those who hurt you in the past, who who are hurting you now and those who will hurt you in the future.

Now, forgiveness does not mean:

• the hurt you experienced was justified.
• the blame rests upon you for the hurt inflicted.
• you are going to confront the offender.
• all memories of the offense and the offender will vanish the moment you forgive.
• there is no pain or sense of loss involved in the forgiving of the offender.
• that the other person was right.
• that the other person controls you.

Yield in obedience to Christ and choose to forgive all of those who have hurt you. This initial act of forgiveness is crucial, but keep in mind that forgiveness is to be continual. As these offenses come up in your mind again - and they will - you must lay them at the foot of the Cross once again, remembering that you have given forgiveness. 

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. {C.S. Lewis}

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Overcoming Shame

Shame is the feeling or belief that something is fundamentally wrong with you. Feelings of shame can rule your life if you have been influenced by hurtful, unhealthy relationships. Shame can consume you when you focus on other people's negative opinions of you to the point where you believe them over God's opinion of you.

God created us with the emotion of shame to help us live by biblically based standards. God wants you to feel shame when you choose to violate His standards. That's how He created us. You should feel shame when you lie, cheat, steal, hurt someone, or act immorally. However, don't confuse shame with guilt. Guilt is legitimate shame designed to bring us to repentance. Shame is a distorted form of guilt where we feel  responsible for the sinful actions of others. Perhaps someone belittled you, violated you, threatened you, or blamed you for a something for which you were not responsible. Sadly, most people who have experienced those types of situations assume responsibility for the other person's sin and carry the shame of that sin for years (sometimes indefinitely). 

{ Guilt is about what you have done. Shame is about who you are. }

Shame causes feelings of embarrassment about things that should not cause embarrassment. Some examples of this would be:

• For being sick or hurting.
• For being alive.
• For needing to talk to someone about a problem.
• For wanting to feel loved and appreciated.
• For wanting to feel significant. 
• For needing to ask for help.
• For letting someone help you.

Shame often leads to depression. Depression results when we meditate on the circumstances of our lives in an unbiblical way. 

How is depression fueled by shame?

• Shame tells you you are guilty.
• Shame causes you to feel you have to "work off the dirt" or the weight of guilt over sin that wasn't yours to begin with.
• Shame causes self-pity.
• Shame takes your joy.
• Shame brings hostility and bitterness.
• Shame hinders your view of God.
• Shame causes you to reject relationships, even your relationship with God, because you feel you are not worthy of love or acceptance. 

God gives special promises in His Word about relief from shame.

Let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause. {Psalm 25:3}

I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. {Psalm 34:4-5}

Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded, for thou shalt not be put to shame... {Isaiah 54:4} 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. {Hebrews 12:2} 

Crucifixion was the most painful and humiliating form of execution in ancient times. When Christ died on the cross, He despised the shame that kind of death brought. He rejected it because He knew He was innocent. He can help you reject the shame, the depression, the false guilt that comes from shouldering the burden of sins that are not yours to bear.

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What God Says About "Getting Even"

When someone is hurt - physically, emotionally, or otherwise - the initial (and natural) response is often anger. Hurt can cause fear, sadness, hopelessness, depression, feelings of isolation, and/or a deep loneliness. All of these emotions are fertile ground for anger. We often respond to this anger by wanting to hurt those who hurt us. After all, it's only fair that  they get what they deserve by getting the same treatment...right?  


Let's dive into God's Word and see what He has to say about wanting to get even.


Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him. Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious of the wicked; for there shall be no reward to the evil man; the candle of the wicked shall be put out. {Proverbs 24:17-20}


...it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you; {2 Thessalonians 1:6}

Okay, so we know how we're not to respond...but how are we to respond to those who hurt us?

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh the sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. {Matthew 5:44-46} 


Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. {Romans 12:14}


Recompense no man evil for evil. {Romans 12:17a}


Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, said the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. {Romans 12:19-21}


And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. {Ephesians 4:32}


Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. {Colossians 3:13}


What does God say about us if we choose to stay angry anyway and seek to "get even"?

He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. {I John 9-11}


Anger cannot be hidden or denied. It must be responded to, or it will consume you. God commands you to get rid of it. You must bring it out of the darkness of denial and into the light of admission and repentance.

Signs of an angry spirit:

• A critical or sarcastic attitude
• Holding a grudge or keeping a list of hurts
• Being extremely negative on a regular basis
• An unforgiving disposition

Do any of these describe you? Would others describe you in a similar way?

Quiet your heart and ask the Lord to show you any areas of your life where you are holding on to anger. Are you willing to acknowledge your anger, your desire to "get even," as sin? 

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. {Psalm 139:23-24}

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