The Importance of Relationships

Over the course of this week, God has been teaching me a lot about the importance of relationships through sermons/prayer meeting, through conversations with friends, and through my study of the Word. God has brought this subject to my attention almost every day this week through those avenues, for which I am thankful. It has caused me to realize just how far I've let myself slide in this area.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon tells us:

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. {Ecclesiastes 4:9-12}

I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to try to do challenging things on my own, even when I know I can't take on a (two-person) project that's way over my head (no pun intended, of course ;) ) or pull myself up by my spiritual bootstraps when I'm losing a spiritual battle. Solomon is right in saying that "two are better than one;" a good relationship of any kind provides companionship, accountability and support. Whenever I choose to reject those who desire to help me - "thanks, but I can handle this myself" - I am rejecting the God-ordained support network relationships provide and am displaying an attitude of pride in the process. 

Paul reminds us in Hebrews 10 about the importance of maintaining solid relationships with fellow believers.

And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. {Hebrews 10:24-25}

In the context of this verse, the word "provoke" doesn't mean doing or saying things to "provoke" someone to anger or irritation. Rather, it's more the idea of "stimulating" or "encouraging" one another. It's extremely hard, nigh impossible, to stimulate or encourage yourself in this way. God made us to need other people to fellowship with, to encourage and be encouraged in return. That's part of the beauty of being part of the body of Christ. 

There is, of course, a problem if you allow your need for people to become bigger than (or entirely replace) your need for God. But that doesn't mean we should feel guilty or ashamed for needing help, encouragement, or fellowship, and shun relationships altogether. There is a godly balance between these extremes.

It's important to remember that those who encourage you have need to be encouraged sometimes too; those who help you sometimes need help as well; those who pray for you also need to be prayed for. Good, healthy relationships are a "two-way street." Don't always wait for them to come to you first. Show your love for them by sincerely asking how they are doing. Find some ways you can be a blessing to them. Choose to exercise the "brotherly kindness" Paul talks about in 2 Peter 1.

It's so easy to overlook the importance of relationships. Life gets busy and we let our relationships slide. Some of us are just plain forgetful and we don't always remember to keep in touch with others. Other times, if we're honest with ourselves, we just don't want to take the time to find out how someone is really doing. We leave it at "How are you?" "I'm good, how are you?" "Good." (Grammatically incorrect, and usually not true, but that's not the point I'm trying to make here. :P )

Make the effort to spend time with a friend you haven't seen in awhile. Reconnect with a relative you haven't talked to since that last family get-together. Call that sibling who lives on the other side of the country. Reply to that email your grandmother sent this morning that you told yourself you "didn't have time" to respond to. Come alongside someone whom you know is going through a hard time.

Relationships aren't perfect, because humans aren't perfect, but they are gifts from One Who is perfect. Don't neglect them. 

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Quotes by C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis (or "Jack," as he liked to be called) is one of my favorite authors and Christian apologists. His writings are some of the most profound works on Christianity that I have read so far in my experience with Christian apologetic literature. His unique ability to describe complex ideas in a simple ways is an inspiration to me.

So, without further ado, I would like to share with you some quotes attributed to him that I have found helpful, thought-provoking, and encouraging. I hope they will minister to your heart, as well.

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."

"A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading."

"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you will get neither."

"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point."

"Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement."

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."

"Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see."

"Nothing that you have not given away will ever really be yours."

"There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way.'" 

"We are what we believe we are."

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."

 "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will be come unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

"I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time - waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God - it changes me." 

"Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

"Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning..."

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you."

"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a dead world."

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."

"What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it."

"I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?" 

"God allows us to experience the low points in life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn no other way."

"Though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not."

"It is not your business to succeed, but to do right; when you have done so, the rest lies with God."

"To walk out of His will is to walk into nowhere."

"When you are arguing against God, you are arguing against the very power that makes you able to argue at all."

"God loves us, not because we're lovable, because He is love. Not because He needs to receive, because He delights to give."

"Faith in Christ is the only thing to save you from despair."

"When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place."

"If God forgives us, we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise it is like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him."

"If we only have the will to walk, then God is pleased with our stumbles."

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Friends: Gifts to be Treasured

Photo by Myrna Moore

Today I had the unexpected blessing of receiving a phone call from a very dear friend whom I haven't heard from in six months. (Yes, there were tears, but they were tears of joy.) We were able to   catch up on each other's lives, share burdens, and rejoice in what the Lord is teaching us and doing for us. To be honest, I was a little sad when we had to say goodbye, but so thankful that we had been able to talk (finally!). I have missed her more than words can express.

Friendship is a beautiful manifestation of God's loving care for us. I believe that with all my heart.

Is maith a sgathan suil caraide. 

A friend's eye is a good looking-glass.

 {Gaelic Proverb}

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. {Proverbs 17:17}

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. {Proverbs 27:17}

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. {Proverbs 27:9}

I am so thankful for the godly friends God has placed in my life. How often I so foolishly take them for granted! They help me up when I fall, encourage me when I'm discouraged, point me to Christ when I take my eyes off Him, put up with my silly antics and bad moods, make me laugh when I don't even want to smile, and so much more. I am not what I ought to be, but I hope I can be at least a fraction of the blessing to my friends that they have been to me. I am forever indebted to them for their kindness, generosity, exhortation, and encouragement. Thank You, Lord, for the tremendous gift of friendship!

Photo by Myrna Moore

True, godly friends are bits of Heaven on earth - precious gifts to be treasured. 

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