Examining Your Responses

Just as there are times of joy, there are also times if suffering during the course of life. You may have suffered abuse, abandonment, or rejection. Perhaps you are hurting over a failed marriage or failed relationships/friendships. You may think God has forgotten you, or doesn't care about you. Your heart has grown cold, angry, perhaps bitter, toward God. Psalm 31:7 says,

I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities.

David didn't rejoice because he was suffering. He was able to rejoice because he knew God was there and would always be with him.

Life has not given you what you expected. You want more. The world tells you that you deserve more. Proverbs 21:2 says,

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts. 

 Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). He wants to keep you from facing the truth about your unbiblical responses to the hurts you have faced, because denial keeps you in bondage to him. When you live in denial, you cannot know God intimately or enjoy fellowship with Him. Satan's mission is accomplished.

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. {John 8:32}

 If you are willing to face the truth, the truth will set you free - free from your sinful responses to circumstances in your life.

Psalm 142 describes a trying time in David's life.

I cried unto the LORD with my voice; with my voice unto the LORD did I make my supplication.  

I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble.  

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me.  

I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul.  

I cried unto thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living.  

Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutors; for they are stronger than I.  

Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.

David was hiding in a cave because he was being pursued by Saul. You are constantly being pursued by Satan and your fleshly nature, but you do not have to give in.

But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof. {Romans 13:14}

David was in desperate need. He was honest about his feelings and his need, but his focus was entirely on God. He was able to have joy in the midst of distressing circumstances because his focus was entirely on God.

{ Stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'real' life. They are precisely one's real life. - C.S. Lewis }

Have you lived in denial about your unbiblical responses? What truth do you need to face about your unbiblical responses? Don't put it off any longer - make those responses right today so your relationship with God can be restored and you can live with the joy of the Lord in your heart!

Read more...

Overcoming Shame

Shame is the feeling or belief that something is fundamentally wrong with you. Feelings of shame can rule your life if you have been influenced by hurtful, unhealthy relationships. Shame can consume you when you focus on other people's negative opinions of you to the point where you believe them over God's opinion of you.

God created us with the emotion of shame to help us live by biblically based standards. God wants you to feel shame when you choose to violate His standards. That's how He created us. You should feel shame when you lie, cheat, steal, hurt someone, or act immorally. However, don't confuse shame with guilt. Guilt is legitimate shame designed to bring us to repentance. Shame is a distorted form of guilt where we feel  responsible for the sinful actions of others. Perhaps someone belittled you, violated you, threatened you, or blamed you for a something for which you were not responsible. Sadly, most people who have experienced those types of situations assume responsibility for the other person's sin and carry the shame of that sin for years (sometimes indefinitely). 

{ Guilt is about what you have done. Shame is about who you are. }

Shame causes feelings of embarrassment about things that should not cause embarrassment. Some examples of this would be:

• For being sick or hurting.
• For being alive.
• For needing to talk to someone about a problem.
• For wanting to feel loved and appreciated.
• For wanting to feel significant. 
• For needing to ask for help.
• For letting someone help you.

Shame often leads to depression. Depression results when we meditate on the circumstances of our lives in an unbiblical way. 

How is depression fueled by shame?

• Shame tells you you are guilty.
• Shame causes you to feel you have to "work off the dirt" or the weight of guilt over sin that wasn't yours to begin with.
• Shame causes self-pity.
• Shame takes your joy.
• Shame brings hostility and bitterness.
• Shame hinders your view of God.
• Shame causes you to reject relationships, even your relationship with God, because you feel you are not worthy of love or acceptance. 

God gives special promises in His Word about relief from shame.

Let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause. {Psalm 25:3}

I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. {Psalm 34:4-5}

Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded, for thou shalt not be put to shame... {Isaiah 54:4} 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. {Hebrews 12:2} 

Crucifixion was the most painful and humiliating form of execution in ancient times. When Christ died on the cross, He despised the shame that kind of death brought. He rejected it because He knew He was innocent. He can help you reject the shame, the depression, the false guilt that comes from shouldering the burden of sins that are not yours to bear.

Read more...

What God Says About "Getting Even"

When someone is hurt - physically, emotionally, or otherwise - the initial (and natural) response is often anger. Hurt can cause fear, sadness, hopelessness, depression, feelings of isolation, and/or a deep loneliness. All of these emotions are fertile ground for anger. We often respond to this anger by wanting to hurt those who hurt us. After all, it's only fair that  they get what they deserve by getting the same treatment...right?  


Let's dive into God's Word and see what He has to say about wanting to get even.


Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him. Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious of the wicked; for there shall be no reward to the evil man; the candle of the wicked shall be put out. {Proverbs 24:17-20}


...it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you; {2 Thessalonians 1:6}

Okay, so we know how we're not to respond...but how are we to respond to those who hurt us?

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh the sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. {Matthew 5:44-46} 


Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. {Romans 12:14}


Recompense no man evil for evil. {Romans 12:17a}


Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, said the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. {Romans 12:19-21}


And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. {Ephesians 4:32}


Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. {Colossians 3:13}


What does God say about us if we choose to stay angry anyway and seek to "get even"?

He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. {I John 9-11}


Anger cannot be hidden or denied. It must be responded to, or it will consume you. God commands you to get rid of it. You must bring it out of the darkness of denial and into the light of admission and repentance.

Signs of an angry spirit:

• A critical or sarcastic attitude
• Holding a grudge or keeping a list of hurts
• Being extremely negative on a regular basis
• An unforgiving disposition

Do any of these describe you? Would others describe you in a similar way?

Quiet your heart and ask the Lord to show you any areas of your life where you are holding on to anger. Are you willing to acknowledge your anger, your desire to "get even," as sin? 

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. {Psalm 139:23-24}

Read more...