What is Biblical Forgiveness?

Photo by Myrna Moore

When you have suffered at another's hand, the last thing you want to do is forgive. You pride tells you not to forgive. It tells you that you have the right to be offended.

God is very specific about the Christian's responsibility to forgive. There are no exceptions to this command. We must forgive, whether we feel like it or not; whether we think the the person who offended us deserves our forgiveness or not.

When Jesus was asked, "Master, which is the great commandment in the law?," this was his response:

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. {Matthew 22: 37-40}

 What is biblical forgiveness? It is a promise that you will not deal with those who have offended you, hurt you, or sinned against you. It is a promise that you will not bring the offense up to them or anyone else ever again.

You are to forgive because God forgave you.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. {Ephesians 4:32}

Forgiveness is...

• not an apology. Apologies are what you do/say to explain yourself. "I did that because..." "I said that because..."
• not forgetting. When God forgives your sin, He chooses to remember it no more. Forgiveness is a choice, an act of the will to remember the offense no more.
• not a matter of faith or spirituality. Forgiveness is simply obedience to a direct command of God.
• not a feeling. You don't forgive because you feel like it. You forgive because you are commanded by God to do it.

Christ gave us an example in Scripture of our choice to respond according to our feelings or to respond in obedience to God's commands.

But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do. {Luke 17:7-10}

The servant in this parable was probably exhausted and hungry from working all day. You might be thinking, "How unfair for the master to require more of him than was expected!" But the servant was required to obey his master, regardless of whether his feelings about how he was being treated were legitimate or not.

Your feelings may be legitimate based on what you have experienced or are experiencing. But your feelings are not to be your master. God is your Master. God commands you to stop living according to your feelings and just obey. Obedience is not the extra mile; it is your duty as a servant.

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. {Colossians 3:13} 

You are to forgive because God has forgiven you. he has given you mercy and withheld judgment. He wants you to give mercy and allow him, the Righteous Judge, to administer judgment to those who have hurt you. Mercy is no longer hoping in your heart that hurt or evil comes upon those who hurt you. You give up the desire to punish of hurt the one who has hurt you. Mercy and forgiveness walk hand in hand. You never see one without the other.

God has given specific instructions about how Christians are to treat those who have hurt them.

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. {Luke 6:27-31}

Jesus, having suffered all the shame, the physical and emotional abuse, the rejection, and the sins of the world, lifted His voice to heaven and prayed, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." He forgave so that you may be forgiven and, following his example, can also forgive.

When you humble yourself as a servant before the Lord and determine to obey His command to forgive, you witness to the world Christ's forgiveness of sin. Christ died for the sins of those who hurt you in the past, who who are hurting you now and those who will hurt you in the future.

Now, forgiveness does not mean:

• the hurt you experienced was justified.
• the blame rests upon you for the hurt inflicted.
• you are going to confront the offender.
• all memories of the offense and the offender will vanish the moment you forgive.
• there is no pain or sense of loss involved in the forgiving of the offender.
• that the other person was right.
• that the other person controls you.

Yield in obedience to Christ and choose to forgive all of those who have hurt you. This initial act of forgiveness is crucial, but keep in mind that forgiveness is to be continual. As these offenses come up in your mind again - and they will - you must lay them at the foot of the Cross once again, remembering that you have given forgiveness. 

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. {C.S. Lewis}